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Critics are starting to piss me off.

I'm not talking about video game critics or journalists or whatever they wish to be called because anyone with any sense knows they're all retarded when it comes to actual reviews for that medium. When a critic is rating a hard game like Cuphead low because it doesn't have a skip boss icon then you know they don't really give a damn about video games and just want to get paid for their review. I am talking about movie critics, the kind that you often times seek advise from because you would expect them to know what they are talking about since they have witnessed many successes and many bombs. If a critic with a high reputation says a movie is garbage then you know that movie most likely is terrible. Or one may think anyway because now I am starting to see too many critics on websites like Rotten Tomatoes and IMDb that I never heard of before writing these really idiotic reviews that feel like mere opinion pieces.

Then when you check to see which organization a specific critic is representing, it always feels like some website or blog that you never heard of or have any reason to really trust their input. It's starting to feel like most movie critics now are just some random shmuck at a computer somewhere typing their own thoughts without taking into consideration more broader categories. It's like Yelp how nobody really cares too much about some random joe or jane whenever they treat themselves seriously as a critic and think they are worth more than the air they breath when they are really in the position to try a restaurant's boogers and cum specials. Yelp still has usages like finding popular local establishments and seeing what the general opinions of the establishments are, but when you start thinking that you're some "professional" critic and that everyone should listen to you as well as heed your own advise then this just feels entirely silly.

I could call myself a critic right now because I am writing this rant on a blog website. Do I have the expertise to start critiquing motion pictures or video games? Probably not since I don't have that much experience with films or games, but I would at least try to appeal to the wider audience who may enjoy a certain thing. I guess I was just a little upset when I saw a shitton of rotten reviews on Fandango while trying to find a movie to go see at my local second run theatre while most of the fresh and certified fresh ratings tend to be more mainstream films that could lead one to suspect that studios are paying for good reviews. I am thrilled, though, that the War for the Planet of the Apes is a critical success. Those movies are definitely one of the best films I've seen in the 2010's.


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