Skip to content

A Return to Hollywood?

I heard back from the LGBT Clinic of Los Angeles and they said that because I have Medi-Cal I could see their transgender health specialists at no extra cost, but I would have to do my lab work within the country of my specific insurance provider which isn't that big of a deal considering that is what I am already doing. Now I have a plan B because this referral games bullshit is really starting to piss me off and I started to get afraid that I might have ran into some kind of a block. So now I have a plan B going forward. They gave me the number to call for appointments. I am still going to give these people another week or so to get my referral, but after which I am just going to call this place.

I regret not going there from the get go, but I was too busy taking into consideration that my mother didn't want to drive all the way to Hollywood (even though Google maps says it's around the same amount of time as my current place), but she said this is doable for us and I am tired of dwelling on hindsight and regret. I'm trying to stay in the present and focusing on the future. I think we agree, the past is over. I always had this feeling that I would be returning to Hollywood later in life. The only other time I visited there was when I went with my mother and her Journey friends on the Journey message boards she used to frequent to attend the Walk of Fame ceremony for the band. Which interesting enough is a few blocks down from this clinic giving her somewhere to go while I was meeting with the doctor(s). Knowing that I would most likely have to follow up it fills me with wonder that I could end up becoming an expert as to what there is in that general location. This feels exciting. Like, almost, this was supposed to happen.

This clinic is also similar to something I have always wanted to start. They even provide rooms for those who are kicked out or homeless which is also something that I would have included in another dream of mine. I am honestly thinking of volunteering to work for them if I didn't live miles away from Hollywood Blvd.

"Sometimes life is like this dark tunnel, you can’t always see the light at the end of the tunnel, but if you just keep moving, you will come to a better place." ~Uncle Iroh, Avatar the Last Airbender

I feel like Katniss Everdeen.

Everytime I have to acquire a referral for my 3 month follow up visit with my endocrinologist. I hate having to constantly make a ton of phone calls and physical visits to my primary care physican's office because they don't happen to have my doctor's notes or orders for a follow up on file. So this leads me to call my endocrinologist's office where they tell me that they do have those files sent already. Now they give me the department for utilization management only for them to tell me the same thing and even when someone from the referral department at my primary care physican's office calls them to leave a message they still haven't recieved any callbacks regarding the issue. This is literally making me wish I had gone to an LGBT clinic to see one of their specialists and pay out of pocket. They at least work on a sliding scale the last time I looked into it and perhaps it could have saved me the headache of playing the 3 month Referral Games. Why do I have to feel like Katniss Everdeen every time I have to get something done?

The Star Wars expanded universe turns the protagonist into a Gary/Mary Stu/Sue.

The Legends continuity gave every major historical significance of the galaxy to Luke Skywalker. I don't think there were any major failures for the character post-Return of the Jedi. That is why it felt refreshing for him to fail at re-establishing the Jedi Order and losing his nephew to the dark side. He was a hero that couldn't live up to his hero status. Now go ahead and complain about Rey being perfect even though she is at the start of her monomyth. When people try to call Luke a Gary Stu it really makes me reflect on what I've learned from Legends. He kind of was though it may not have been on intention.
 
This is why I am so hoping that the newly established canon doesn't repeat the same shit only substituting Luke for Rey. I want to see Rey have success when it's time for the audience to say good-bye to the character in films, but not turn her into a true Mary Sue especially when the new EU has attempted to downplay that notion. There are explanations as to why she was good at flying for example. The truth is that nether Luke or Rey are perfect characters, but it just feels that way for different reasons.
 
The expanded universe is that because it expands upon the main saga which is primarily a Skywalker ordeal. It should focus on many characters defining the galaxy and not just on a single protagonist from the movies that follow their own stories. Rey shouldn't bring back the Jedi Order. She has no reason to after learning about why they needed to end from Luke. If she does establish a new order it should be to show force sensitive individuals what they can use their abilities and gifts for regardless of light or dark. I can see Rey and Ben doing this together where the dark side learners practice restraint. This still wouldn't be the Jedi Order since they wouldn't follow their doctrine and would make perfect sense.

Fans want to claim Rey is a Mary Sue then they should hold off until the expanded universe authors take hold of her and hopefully that would never happen. Give her some historical relevance post-Episode IX and leave it at that. Design and craft your own characters to shape this newly established canon.

Merry Christmas

I just wanted to write this entry to wish all of my readers and supporters a very Merry Christmas regardless of how many will see this blog post.

Whenever I see someone wish someone "Merry Christmas" I feel the urge to wish them "Happy Holidays" and vice versa. Considering this is the day of Christmas then I am willing to forgo my contrarian nature to say this again.

Merry Christmas!

People From Minichan For Whom I Respect

I just wanted to make an entry about people from minichan.org that I've came to respect over my entire time posting and lurking on that board. This will be a short one and will be in no particular order.

  • Brie <3
  • Becky
  • fake_anon
  • Fuchs
  • FuckAlms
  • Foxygen
  • Green
  • Kook
  • Mudpuppy
  • Nexi
  • On
  • r04r
  • TheOwl
  • Walter (WSD)

I am aware that one of those on the list has never been to minichan.org, as he is a moderator at tinychan.org: the father of the 'illegal clones', but I've came to know him fairly well and it felt wrong to exclude him. If there was anyone that I forgot to include then I would update this list in the future.

I have no idea where the hell my natural range is in my voice.

I am doing the Finding Your Feminine Voice guide on YouTube that someone referred to me and I have no idea where my range is from low to high. The woman in the video put up a piano chart and a note staff to show the usual ranges for both male and female. I honestly think I might be within the overlap between the two but I cannot tell since my voice still cracks a lot. This is the main reason why I question whether or not I went through puberty. It would most likely be beneficial for me, but still. I might pay for the video counseling sessions so I could get more hands on instructions since I am a fucking retard.

My one question for God.

How come you make people one way and feel another way; what purpose could transgender people have to your grand plan?

He would most likely tell me that it's to make everyone of his creations unique and so that each person has their own struggles to define their characters and being transgender is just one of those struggles for some people.

I wouldn't question it long as I would request that my afterlife is served reincarnated into the sex that I desired to be with no bullshit like "oh, you can be born a girl, but you would identify as a boy and pursue a gender switch to a man."

I think I need a lawyer.

I think I figured something out, Beavis.

Rick & Morty is the smartest show on television in all the universes because the smartest show on television in all the universes only appears to be the dumbest show on television in all the universes to dumb people who are not smart enough to see that it is the smartest show on televison in all the universes. The reason why nobody can comprehend that it is the smartest show on television in all the universes is because human viewers are not the smartest creatures in the universes and are, in actual fact, the dumbest creatures in all the universes. So therefore Rick & Morty is the smartest show on television in all the universes just by being the dumbest show on television in all the universes when it is actually the smartest show on television in all the universes.

My IQ just shot up 100 points!!!

SCORE!!!!!!!!

Looks like I am a DSPS student.

I qualified because I had an IEP during my primary school education years (elementary through high school) and I am in the program now. I return to school earlier than originally anticipated for two 1 credit courses. One is just to assess me for DSPS and the other is a college guidance course that I should have taken at the start of the semester since I really need help with note taking. I just cannot take notes whenever a professor is lecturing and not writing stuff on the board. It's not that bad though since there are some pretty nifty perks you get. For example, you can rent out this cool pen that allows you to copy written/printed text and it saves it to a .txt file. It can also record your lectures and one other feature I do not recall at the moment. I was too blown away by the copier the size of a pen. There is also a learning aid that has audiobooks, some with text and pictures, others just audio. The voice is clearer than the most clear ones that I downloaded. I might even use that for leisure outside of course work. I bet they have a ton of public domain books in there too. I know they have Stephen King's IT. It's gonna be an interesting semester.

El Rancho Grande Taco Shop (Both #1 and #2)

They have the best rice and beans I've tasted in the High Desert and I usually am not a huge consumer of these two products. Their tacos are wonderful. They are greasy, but I have come to expect that from a proper taco, even though my impression of the food comes from Cat from the animated Nickelodeon show Catdog. They also have a breakfast menu (if you eat breakfast around 10 AM) and seafood items. I am a little afraid of trying the seafood, but everything else is great. It's insanely popular and has been in business since I was a child. It's definitely worth checking out.

Here are their Yelp pages:

https://www.yelp.com/biz/el-rancho-grande-taco-shop-2-victorville
https://www.yelp.com/biz/el-rancho-grande-taco-shop-victorville?osq=el+rancho+grande+taco+shop+2
 

I wish that there was an option to tell certain critics of these pages to fuck off with their self-entitled attitudes if you don't find a review helpful. Most Yelp reviews only think about themselves and it pisses me off, but that is another article.

Hands are amazing and weird.

Have you ever stopped to look at your hands and admire what a great evolutionary marvel they are. Be thankful that you have them for there are people in this world who do not or those who have lost them. But have you ever really studied them? Their shape, why they are the way they are, it's incredible and funny looking. Why are there four fingers and one thumb? Why not three fingers and one thumb? You could easily picture this by imagining that you lack a middle finger and then imagine that you're an alien species where having a middle finger is a genetic defect. How might society be different if the middle finger was seen as a defected and inappropriate for everyday use. I do not mean the gesture for "fuck you" here.

It's just all so fascinating to me.

What if God is a Hedonist?

What if God is a Hedonist and the reason why there is so much tragedy in the world is because he is trying to encourage us to always look on the bright side of life and death? What if Heaven is only reserved for a certain few and the rest of us just simply die off? Wouldn't it make sense for a creator to wish for his creations to have the most enjoyable life possible? One could argue that he could simply just make Heaven accessible for every living and deceased soul, but the thing that most organized religions seem to forget is that God can do whatever he so desires. God does make mistakes, but those mistakes are of his own will. Therefore are they really mistakes?

This song is my anthem.

There are times when I feel depressed. Mostly over things I have no control over, but things that could have been prevented. Like male pattern baldness caused by stress in my youth all because I was worried about transitioning before I was 30. I tried to stop and laugh at the irony. So I have to wear a wig for my whole life and thanks to a friend I don't feel ashamed. You know what they say, somethings in life are bad and they can really make you mad. Other things can make you swear and curse, but when you're chewing on life's gristle. Don't grumble, give a whistle. This will make things turn out for the best. And always look on the bright side of life!

Bright Side of This Post: At least I started transitioning before I was 30. Mission Accomplished!

Monty Python: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-ECUtkv2qV8

This song is a top contender for a song to be played at my death and/or funeral.

All Saint's Eve

Seeing as Halloween is this Tuesday, I felt like it was appropriate to make a short entry here about it's origins and as a way to continue this old tradtion. Regardless of what many religious folk have said in the past about this holiday being the work of the devil. It actually started as a religious holiday. Perhaps one that could serve as an example for what became of Christmas, even though Christmas' traditions actually extend back to Roman festivals, but that is a tired fact brought up every year by non-Christians to mock Christians.I will not be going too much into it's origins as one could simply read the Wikipedia article for Halloween, but in essense it was a day to remember the deceased, fallen, martyrs, and saints. Similar to the Mexican festival of Day of the Dead, which intrigues me to find that there is more and more merchendise being sold for that holiday every year. Makes me wonder if it is time for Day of the Dead to lose it's original focus as well.

Not wanting to let the tradition die out as it's a very good one. Let this entry serve as a way to honor your deceased in the comments section.

It has been sixteen years since my father passed away.

Nobody deserves public restrooms.

There is a huge debate over where transgender individuals should do their doodies, but this isn't about such an argument that feels so ultimately pointless and serves only as a distraction for the general populace from other more serious issues. This is about my new outlook on public restrooms. Long have I entered such places my whole life and I always greeted by such a messy degenerate room either with toilet paper somewhere, key scratches in God knows what pattern or writing, or sometimes just not cleaned. It makes me pity the employees who have to clean that shit (literally sometimes) up. If we as a society cannot behavior ourselves within a public space made to service a basic human need to dispose of waste then perhaps we do not deserve the luxury of even having such a public space. That's right! No more men's restrooms, no more women's restrooms, no more unisex restrooms, no more transgender, cissy, non-binary, whatever restrooms. We have proven that we only abuse this space to make others feel uncomfortable. This even shows in our media. How many times do you recall seeing such a trashy degenerate bathroom in a TV show or even a motion picture? Exactly!

And the fact that the way we handle our public restrooms and how it hasn't changed much or evolved since the Victorian era, which was when they were essentially first introduced, tells me that it may either be better to just not have them anymore or work on new ways to improve them. The people complaining about having a third restroom option probably don't realize that there was initially only one back in the Victorian era. It was just a men's room because women were expected to remain in the house and not be seen out in public. I'm sure there were a group of men complaining about establishments incorporating a ladies room too. You're not special. There is no reason to even be upset about a possible third door to walk into especially when you're not even going to use it because signs are scary. Plus that third door tends to be unisex anyway which allows for anyone to use it. So feel free to wipe it out inside, but if you start abusing this space with key scratches then you have to leave. Sorry, this is my law.

I would also like to take this moment to plug James Rolfe's You Know What's Bullshit? episode on public restrooms, because he also makes valid points concerning other factors on why they suck. I will also include the episode regarding pay toilets as well.

Video #1: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C4Doj1AZInI
Video #2: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oeyDkulK6lA

Keep whining about where transgender people should shit, because if you cannot respect such a private place then perhaps you don't deserve them either.

Critics are starting to piss me off.

I'm not talking about video game critics or journalists or whatever they wish to be called because anyone with any sense knows they're all retarded when it comes to actual reviews for that medium. When a critic is rating a hard game like Cuphead low because it doesn't have a skip boss icon then you know they don't really give a damn about video games and just want to get paid for their review. I am talking about movie critics, the kind that you often times seek advise from because you would expect them to know what they are talking about since they have witnessed many successes and many bombs. If a critic with a high reputation says a movie is garbage then you know that movie most likely is terrible. Or one may think anyway because now I am starting to see too many critics on websites like Rotten Tomatoes and IMDb that I never heard of before writing these really idiotic reviews that feel like mere opinion pieces.

Then when you check to see which organization a specific critic is representing, it always feels like some website or blog that you never heard of or have any reason to really trust their input. It's starting to feel like most movie critics now are just some random shmuck at a computer somewhere typing their own thoughts without taking into consideration more broader categories. It's like Yelp how nobody really cares too much about some random joe or jane whenever they treat themselves seriously as a critic and think they are worth more than the air they breath when they are really in the position to try a restaurant's boogers and cum specials. Yelp still has usages like finding popular local establishments and seeing what the general opinions of the establishments are, but when you start thinking that you're some "professional" critic and that everyone should listen to you as well as heed your own advise then this just feels entirely silly.

I could call myself a critic right now because I am writing this rant on a blog website. Do I have the expertise to start critiquing motion pictures or video games? Probably not since I don't have that much experience with films or games, but I would at least try to appeal to the wider audience who may enjoy a certain thing. I guess I was just a little upset when I saw a shitton of rotten reviews on Fandango while trying to find a movie to go see at my local second run theatre while most of the fresh and certified fresh ratings tend to be more mainstream films that could lead one to suspect that studios are paying for good reviews. I am thrilled, though, that the War for the Planet of the Apes is a critical success. Those movies are definitely one of the best films I've seen in the 2010's.

I think there was a Doctor Who reference in a new Halloween animated cartoon.

In the new Michael Jackson's Halloween, Michael's chipanzee Bubbles was flying what looked to be an elevator flying through the time vortex. It was a small square box and hard to tell what color it was because of the special effects. It looked blue though. I am seriously starting to hate Thriller and I blame Party City for beating it to death every Halloween.